I don't often think this... but from time to time, I think about the babies I have lost and wonder why I had to lose them.
Losing Nicholas at 32.5 weeks.
Losing another baby at 11 weeks (but the baby only measuring 7.5), after seeing the heart beat.
Losing Moroni at 17 weeks.
Why lose three babies? And have four healthy children without any complication at all.
As Sean and I look to the future and hope to add to our family soon; I can't help but worry about the next pregnancy and if it will have a good ending.
I don't feel like I am exempt from more pain or loss, but I can't help but hope that I've lost enough and I shouldn't have to lose anymore babies.
I really am scared, though. 43% of my pregnancies have left me coming home without a baby in my arms.
But, then I remind myself that I have a loving Heavenly Father that will help me through whatever happens.
Sometimes I just have to take one day at a time.
Oh sweetie I am so sorry that your arms are empty! I can't begin to imagine leaving the hospital without a baby! You are right though...our Heavenly Father will help you! I hope that HE feels it's been enough too! Praying for your peace and comfort in this difficult time! Much Love!
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard not to think about what the lives would be like of the babies we have lost. It's hard not to think about where our lives woult be if they were here on Earth. I hope and pray with all my heart that you will soon be adding to your already wonderful family and that the pregnancy will be with out complicaion. I love you more than I could ever express. You are a beacon of light in this world to me. You are my exemplar. I love you!
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