Tuesday, August 13, 2013

A Beautiful Email

I received a beautiful email in June from a photographer.  It really meant a lot to me that she would take the time to write to me.  I do believe that the work I (and many volunteers all over the world) do makes a difference to those who experience the difficult tragedy of losing a baby.  I wanted to share this email with anyone who reads my blog.


Hi there!
Last Thursday at 2:00 in the morning, I headed into Mountain View Hospital to photograph a stillborn for a grieving family.  He was 38 weeks.  I've been doing this for a year and have photographed numerous lost babies.  The reason that I'm writing is because your little package touched me so much.  So much thought and care was put into that little box.  But the best part?  The sweet little stuffed bunny that was included.  Normally, when I go in to photograph an infant demise, The baby gets dressed up in a little outfit (that was donated to the hospital by incredible people like you) and I pose the baby and take as many pics that the baby's condition will allow.

The little stuffed bunny allowed me so many more options with photographs!  I was able to clasp the baby's teeny little hands around the bunny - which brought out even more innocence in his photos.  The parents had actually requested that the bunny be photographed with their little guy.  I can't remember all that was in the package - blanket, outfit, stuffed toy, and I think even some crocheted shoes, and of course the little note that led me to your blog - but I wanted to encourage you and tell you thank you for all you do.  I read through your blog and see why God has put it on your heart to do this.  You have been able to come through your own painful losses and use those experiences to help others that are dealing with this devastating blow.

Your work and care are touching so many lives, you are very appreciated by me, the hospital staff and the families that otherwise wouldn't know where else to turn.

Again, I am so thankful that she send me this email.  It truly touches my heart.  And I am so thankful that sweet bunny (that was donated over a year ago) was able to bring some comfort to this couple.

Sunday, August 11, 2013


I've been wanting to blog for awhile, but for some reason, blogger won't load properly on my regular computer.  So, I am blogging from my tablet with my bluetooth mini keyboard.

So, I'm pregnant.  And I/we are very excited.  Yay!!!  And, I have some thoughts running through my head.

I wonder if we are going to get a 'good outcome'  this time.

I feel like I couldn't possibly lose another baby.

So, sometimes I feel over confident that everything will be fine and I have nothing to worry about.

But, I can never really shake the fear that it could happen again.

I just hope and pray that Heavenly Father will bless us with a healthy baby!

My heart also aches as I hear of another family whose baby was stillborn.  I went to high school with Eric and I was good friends with his sister Christy.  Eric and his wife, Briana, have had many trials in their life, concerning their beautiful girls.  Please click on the link and see if there is anything you can do to help this amazing family.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Bingham Memorial Hospital

I had plans made to make a donation to Bingham Memorial Hospital back in February, near Moroni's birth-day.  But, we had some terrible weather the day I planned to go, and then life got busy again.  But, I finally made the trip today.  In honor of Moroni and Nicholas.

I was able to donate:
Teeny Tears Diapers
*4 small boy
*4 small girl
*4 small neutral
*4 big boy
*4 big girl
*4 big neutral

*7 boys
*3 girls

Stuffed animals
 *1 dog
*1 girl bear
*1 boy bear

*8 mini quilts
*5 crochet mini blankets
*8 mini blankets

8 Memory boxes

Are here are the pictures.
The whole collection:

Teeny Tears Diapers
I decided to have a selection of boy diapers, girl diapers and neutral diapers.

My dear friend Rose made these beautiful outfits a while ago.
I sent some of them to Madison Memorial and saved these ones to send to Bingham Memorial.

Beautiful crochet blankets made by my sister-in-law Trisha

Lovely blankets made by a family in my ward

 Amazing quilts made by my sister Emily

These are the newest ones she made in honor of Nicholas, whose 11th birth-day is this Wednesday!
Believe me!  They are even more gorgeous in person!

I didn't take close-ups, but I did get the stuffed dog from my sister-in-law Katie.
And I have had the two stuffed bears for over 10 years, and I thought they would make good memory box items.

I cannot say thank you enough to everyone who loves and supports my project!
It is so important to me to help others find comfort and support in their time of loss.

Friday, February 22, 2013

In Memory of Moroni

Here are the items donated to Madison Memorial Hospital today:

Beautiful blankets and quilts made by my sister, Emily.
They really are amazing!

 All items ready to go:

Blankets made by a wonderful family in my ward, and a couple that I made.

Sweet stuffed bears from my SIL, Katie.

Blankets crocheted by my SIL, Trisha.

Amazing dresses and little suits made by my friend, Rosalie.
Memory boxes donated by my sister, Emily.

Sweet Teeny Tears Diapers made by wonderful sisters in my ward.

10 large sets (5 boy, 5 girl)
6 small sets (3 boy, 3 girl)

3 Mother/Baby matching bracelet sets

Sweet Angels

I have almost the exact same donation ready to go to Bingham Memorial Hospital.

I am SO thankful for all of the people that have helped and supported me on my project!

The Lows and the Highs - February 22

On this day, one year ago, I went in for a routine OB appointment.  I went alone, leaving Sean home with the kiddos.  After all, it was supposed to be routine.

The doctor couldn't find the heartbeat.  I was nervous, but at the previous appointment he had a hard time finding the heartbeat, too.  And all was well after that appointment.

They sent me in for an ultrasound.

Ultrasound confirmed that our baby had passed away.

I went home in tears.  Driving home through blurry eyes.  Devastated to lose another baby.

I walked in our house to see Sean doing the dishes.  I had already called him to say the doctor was having a hard time finding the heartbeat and they were sending me in for an ultrasound.

Sean looked to me and I shook my head no, and the tears continued.  He immediately dried his hands and embraced me.  I am so thankful for Sean and the love and support he gives me!

It was a very low day.


Now, back to today.

I finally called Madison Memorial Hospital to see if I could make a donation tomorrow.

My timing couldn't have been better.

I got a hold of the right person, who would only be there for another two hours (it is a half hour drive for me).  She wanted to meet with me personally, if possible.  And she wouldn't be back until Thursday.

As quickly as I could, I got all the items together, with a special note attached to most items.  We left the house about 5:15.  We made it into the hospital about 5:50.  She planned to leave by 6.

Thankfully she hadn't left yet and we were able to have a good visit and I was able to show her everything we had.

She was very pleased, and loved all of it.  It was very heartwarming to think of what good these items will do.

I really didn't do much, other than deliver it.  I had so much help with all of it.  So many donations made to me, so I could donate them in honor of my angel babies!  (I will have another post detailing all of their beautiful creations!)

I really am thankful for Moroni and what he has done for me in my life.  I have been able to find peace through service.

It was a high day.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Thoughts on Pregnancy and Announcing It

I have always been very excited to let people know when I am expecting a baby.   I have usually told my family and close friends right away (my mom being second to know, after Sean).  But, as far as telling other people, I have usually waited to pass the first trimester before officially telling people.  And, with Moroni, I did wait later than I usually do to tell people.  I'm not really sure why I waited longer.  Maybe because it had been so long since I had been pregnant.  And I think there were some people in my ward and some people I worked with that didn't even know I was pregnant, until they heard that we had lost Moroni.  And I was 17 weeks.

I know that most people wait until they are past the 1st trimester to tell people.  Since the risk of miscarriage goes down, they feel 'safe' to tell people.

But, I've been thinking.  Why should we wait to share our good news?  I am not sure why this is hitting me so hard right now. But, why should we wait to tell people just because we fear we my lose the baby?

For me, the baby is a baby, and already loved, from the moment we learn we are pregnant.  So, why does it seem (to me) that it is slightly frowned upon (by society) to tell people you are expecting right away?

While each loss was different, I grieved the loss of Nicholas, my miscarriage, and Moroni.  And my family and close friends have been there to support me through each loss.  I loved each baby, and I still wonder what could have been.

So, why don't we tell people, and have a bigger support system if we do experience loss?

Why don't we tell people early on and have more family and friends there on the journey?

Why do I feel like our society thinks it is inappropriate to announce your pregnancy as soon as you find out?  Maybe that is more of a personal feeling.  I don't know.  Any thoughts?

Anyway, just some thoughts I had on my mind.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Great Books

My sister, Emily, gave me this book after Christmas.
I really enjoyed reading it, and I found it very helpful and beautiful!

This is a book we were given after losing Nicholas, and I have recommended it to many people looking to help others who have lost a baby.

I recommend both books!